OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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