I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
