angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
