Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
