Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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