i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
pray to the hookup gods
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
