Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
