blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
