how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize