its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
