so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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