I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
im holly from the hills drunk
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
