it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You need a sexual gate keeper
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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