i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Come share oat with me in your robe
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
