I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
