Just cropdusted the office
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
