Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just had sex on a roof
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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