remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Nicole vs. Life
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
