You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
