OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
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