She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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