Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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