i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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