i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
