Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize