I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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