the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
