So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
