I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
