My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize