Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
