Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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