Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
