went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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