You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
