Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
