ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Randomize
