it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I need a burrito and a hug.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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