sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
