FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Alive.
So much puke
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
