Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
