gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
