so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
