the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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