My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
