Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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