I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
