she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
