Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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