And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
