just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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