Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
