your room smells of hookers.
And success
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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