No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
