She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
