I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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